{"id":3925,"date":"2023-06-13T12:59:35","date_gmt":"2023-06-13T18:59:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost:10043\/?p=3925"},"modified":"2025-03-07T07:17:24","modified_gmt":"2025-03-07T13:17:24","slug":"how-the-delicate-maneuver-between-hovering-and-helping-makes-the-difference","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/how-the-delicate-maneuver-between-hovering-and-helping-makes-the-difference\/","title":{"rendered":"How the delicate maneuver between hovering and helping makes the difference"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>This article originally appeared in\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.tennessean.com\/story\/money\/tech\/2023\/06\/11\/how-the-delicate-maneuver-between-hovering-and-helping-makes-the-difference\/70298012007\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Tennessean<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">First aid kit&#8230;check.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Passport&#8230;check.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Copy of passport&#8230;check.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Backup first aid kit&#8230;check.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">A summer semester abroad program is something I\u2019d always wanted to do. Meeting new people, learning about another culture, seeing the world\u2014 the experience of a lifetime.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">But 30 years removed from college, this trip wasn\u2019t about me.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">\u201cDad&#8230;I got this&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">International cell phone plan&#8230;check. Tile luggage tracker&#8230;check.\u00a0 Backup Apple Air Tag&#8230;check.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">I knew our kid would be fine, and I knew I needed to give him some space. Already independent and responsible, he was ready for this new adventure.\u00a0 But the thought of him being halfway across the world with a group of strangers still weighed on my protective parental soul.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">I just couldn\u2019t help myself as I went over my checklist.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">I knew our kid would be fine, and I knew I needed to give him some space. Already independent and responsible, he was ready for this new adventure.\u00a0 But the thought of him being halfway across the world with a group of strangers still weighed on my protective parental soul.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">I just couldn\u2019t help myself as I went over my checklist.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">But this dynamic doesn\u2019t only happen in families.\u00a0 It happens at work as well.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">In a work setting, where it\u2019s all adults operating in an often complex environment, the line between hovering and helping gets even trickier.\u00a0 Not offering your help to a colleague when they <a href=\"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/custom-built-software\/\" data-wpil-monitor-id=\"1971\">need it can hurt the business<\/a>.\u00a0 But offering too much help can be overbearing and hurt morale.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"gnt_m gnt_x gnt_x__lbl gnt_x__al\" aria-label=\"advertisement\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-7103-tn-nashville-C1056-native-article_link-tech-4\" class=\"gnt_x_sl gnt_x_al\" data-g-r=\"lazy\" data-gl-method=\"lazyLoadX\" data-google-query-id=\"COKv3pLswP8CFQUsAQodyDEKgA\">\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">So, where\u2019s the line?<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Successfully navigating the delicate helper and \u201chelpee\u201d relationship requires some leadership from the top.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">The first priority is to take any shame out of being the &#8220;helpee.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Employees must know that getting a hand from a colleague is not a sign of weakness, and in fact it\u2019s encouraged.\u00a0 None of us knows everything, so a healthy culture removes any fears and insecurities that anyone may feel when they ask for or receive help in front of their bosses and co-workers.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">As a CEO, I try my best to establish this vibe by asking for help myself when I\u2019m stuck.\u00a0 And not only will I accept unsolicited aid if it helps get the job done, but I am grateful for it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">In addition and especially with new hires, we simply tell them they will not be judged for reaching out to anyone on the team as needed.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"gnt_m gnt_x gnt_x__lbl gnt_x__al\" aria-label=\"advertisement\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-7103-tn-nashville-C1056-native-article_link-tech-5\" class=\"gnt_x_sl gnt_x_al\" data-g-r=\"lazy\" data-gl-method=\"lazyLoadX\" data-google-query-id=\"COOv3pLswP8CFQUsAQodyDEKgA\">\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">The second step is to set some ground rules for the helper.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Hovering happens when you cross the line and help someone too much.\u00a0 It can lead to resentment and stifle a helpee\u2019s personal growth. Even when a helpee seeks out help, a helper must be always cognizant of \u201chelping with respect.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">What is \u201chelping with respect?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Lending a hand to a co-worker must be rooted in a genuine desire to make some else\u2019s day easier and ultimately help the company succeed.\u00a0 Anyone in the helper role, should avoid any hint of criticism and\/or judgment that could come off as degrading.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">The idea is to offer a hand respectfully, and to back off when help is no longer needed.\u00a0\u00a0 Violating this downgrades you from a helper to a hoverer and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/virtualization\/\" data-wpil-monitor-id=\"73\">virtually<\/a> guarantees a negative response.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Phone charger&#8230;check.\u00a0 Toothbrush&#8230;check.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">It was at this point I caught myself.\u00a0 Was my desire to help doing more harm than good?\u00a0 Was I hovering as the \u201chelicopter dad\u201d or helping as the \u201csupportive dad\u201d who just wanted to help my kid have a good trip?<\/p>\n<div class=\"gnt_ar_b\">\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">I decided to just ask.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">My kid had a good response.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be OK, but I\u2019ll take all the help I can get.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\">Helping&#8230;check!<\/p>\n<p class=\"gnt_ar_b_p\"><em>JJ Rosen is the founder of <\/em><a class=\"gnt_ar_b_a\" href=\"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/\" data-t-l=\":b|e|k|${u}\"><em>Atiba<\/em><\/a><em>,<\/em><em>\u00a0a <\/em><a class=\"gnt_ar_b_a\" href=\"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/\" data-t-l=\":b|e|k|${u}\"><em>Nashville custom software development firm<\/em><\/a><em>\u00a0and <\/em><a class=\"gnt_ar_b_a\" href=\"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/\" data-t-l=\":b|e|k|${u}\"><em>IT support company.<\/em><\/a><em>\u00a0Visit <\/em><a class=\"gnt_ar_b_a\" href=\"https:\/\/atiba.com\/\" data-t-l=\":b|e|k|${u}\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Atiba.com<\/em><\/a><em> for more info.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This article originally appeared in\u00a0The Tennessean. First aid kit&#8230;check. Passport&#8230;check. Copy of passport&#8230;check. Backup first aid kit&#8230;check. A summer semester abroad program is something I\u2019d always wanted to do. Meeting new people, learning about another culture, seeing the world\u2014 the experience of a lifetime. But 30 years removed from college, this trip wasn\u2019t about me. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":3926,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[217],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3925","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-tennessean"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3925","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3925"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3925\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3926"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3925"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3925"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.atiba.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3925"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}